Kireatic

So, the Apple iPad has been announced, as expected. They really can’t keep a secret, can they, but I suppose that’s the point.

Thing is, Apple, I’m just going to say this. This is starting to look like you guys are running out of ideas. The iPod was brilliant, albeit technically a hard drive with a screen, and the majority of its subsequent incarnations pretty good as well. Your iMac’s are good computers, although the non-upgradable nature of them is a pain. The iPhone, took a few tries (and got you a ton of money in the process), and while not actually very good in comparison to other phones, especially not now Android is out there, the sheer hype of the iPhone opened up the industry to the power of mobile computing.

The iPad, however, is pointless. Before I go any further, I’m just going to show you all two things.
First of all, Wozinak’s statement that for actual working tasks, the iPhone is better than the iPad. The iPad is apparantly a ‘media portal’. So…an e-reader that does colour video. Well, so’s the iPhone, just a smaller screen.
Second of all, this is a graphic tablet. A graphic tablet is a screen you can touch for your computer. There are lots of models, most use stylus’ for drawing, for design work, but many can also just use standard fingers. All Apple has REALLY done is pack the computer into the screen, which is hardly ground-breaking. After all, Microsoft did it first. And they did it years ago.

I’ve been perusing the specifications and features of the iPad, and, ignoring the hype and marketing in the features section of the Apple website went to their Tech Specs page. Where I had to again ignore all the hype and marketing, so I went over to Wikipedia, and watched the Keynote.

A 25 cm display is pretty small. Get a standard ruler. Now lose 5 cm. That’s the display diagonally. But that’s okay, it’s all about the interface in the end, right? The screen itself is pretty good, the technology allows for a wide viewing angle. So all the bloody showoffs can show off.

A 1 GHz processor? Uh…right. Less said about this the better, but…this isn’t a computer, it’s a netbook. It’s not even a decent netbook, it doesn’t have a keyboard – I know you can purchase one for extra, but…you shouldn’t have to. And I read this hilarious comment about how keyboards were out and how you had to adapt to touch-screens, and how your grand-kids would be laughing that we used keyboards, but to these people I say: Tactile feedback, and the ability to type with my eyes shut even if someone bumps into my computer. Until we get touchscreens that change how they feel beneath our fingers, there’s no excuse for a computer larger than the palm of my hand to not have a full QWERTY keyboard. But back to the processing power – that’s a wee bit low for a ‘media portal’.

1024×768 resolution. Hang on a tic, did Apple say this could play HD?

The large, high-resolution screen makes iPad perfect for watching any kind of video: from HD movies and TV shows to podcasts and music videos.

That’s interesting. High-res screen can play High-def movies. Technically true, but they aren’t really HD any more now, are they? 720i doesn’t count. Oh, and it outputs to TV’s at the standard 576i/p and 480i/p. If you count that as HD, you have a Wii and a composite cable to go with it. Wait, I have a Wii and it’s composite cable. Nonetheless.

There are three choices of storage, 16, 32 or 64 GB. All flash storage. Again with the flash? Well, there will be no annoying buzzing, and fast load times, but OH MAN will that be pushing Apple’s already high price tagging up higher. Let’s check this, shaalll weee?

Model	16 GB	32 GB	64 GB
iPad Wi-Fi	$499	$599	$699
iPad Wi-Fi + 3G	$629	$729	$829

Ouch. Oh, yes the Wi-Fi. Essential. The 3G? Useful, but…another tie in to AT&T? On silly-expensive rates? What is this, a large version of the iPhone? Oh, wait…

Oh, yes and where’s the camera apple? Going to release it as a new model next year? Bastards.

Oh, and:

• No USB/Firewire ports
• No multitasking ability (bet you it’ll kill the battery)
• No Flash support

And my personal favourite; the iPad is locked down the same way the iPhone and iPod Touches are – you can’t just install applications, they have to go via the App Store. That means no Skype, by the way. And no GUI customization.

By the way, if you were thinking of getting one, have a look at the Dell Latitude XT2, or the Eee T91. Hell, just type “Touchscreen Laptop” into Google.

Better luck next time, Apple?